Atul Subhash, Puneet Khurana Cases Signs Of A Deeper Reality? 'MenToo' Debate Demystified

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Last Updated:January 03, 2025, 11:22 IST

The deaths by suicide of techie Atul Subhash and cafe owner Puneet Khurana have prompted a widespread debate on social media not only about "men's rights", but also on cruelty and maintenance laws in India

Delhi businessman Puneet Khurana (L) died by suicide on New Year's Eve; Bengaluru techie Atul Subhash recorded a 90-minute video before his death. (Image: News18)

“MenToo", “JusticeForAtulSubhash", “legal genocide of men", “national commission for men", “men are not ATMs" – social media has been filled with these hashtags and phrases for almost a month now, with massive outrage over the deaths by suicide of AI engineer Atul Subhash and, now, a cafe owner from Delhi, Puneet Khurana on New Year’s Eve.

What do these cases have in common? In both, the victims have alleged acute mental harassment and “extreme torture" by their wives and in-laws, driving them to take their own life. This has prompted a heated debate online not only about “men’s rights", but also on cruelty in marriage and maintenance laws in India.

Is there a “misuse" of the law – sections 85 and 86 of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita (BNS), which were previously Section 498A in the Indian Penal Code (IPC) – that deals with cruelty by husband or his family members? There are voices seeking for the law to be struck down, within and outside the legal fraternity.

What are the social implications of these two deaths by suicide? There are claims online that “men have been ignored for too long" and, in fact, are the “hunted" and “oppressed" now while all is hunky-dory with the women, who have “more rights". Many, meanwhile, are quoting the high prevalence of male suicides in India, which are more than women.

There are crusaders, including women, championing the cause of men and campaigning for the laws to be reviewed. In his chilling death note and video, apart from a graphic description of prolonged abuse by his wife, Atul Subhash also blamed the “evil neo Marxist socialist agenda based on identity politics" and “slavery and corruption in the garb of social justice" for the current “system".

‘THE SUFFERINGS OF MEN’

On social media platforms like ‘X’ and even LinkedIn, men are now sharing personal ordeals, as well as experiences of family members and friends. They are saying the scales have been tipped in favour of women and their empowerment has given rise to the societal issue of wives extorting money from their husbands in the name of cruelty, keeping custody of their children and then driving them to die by suicide.

ALSO READ | ‘This ATM Is Closed Now’: Harrowing Details Of Bengaluru Techie Atul Subhash’s Life And Death

There are specific and general statements by one and all, but none too unique as that of journalist and film-maker Deepika Bhardwaj – a champion for the “sufferings of men". She has said “a very personal experience" inspired her to fight for men’s rights.

When her first documentary, Martyrs of Marriage – on the misuse of Section 498A – was being screened across India in 2017, she had told the BBC that she began researching the subject in 2012.

“In 2011, a cousin’s marriage fell apart within three months and his wife accused him and our entire family of beating her and demanding dowry from her. She filed a false case against us. I was also named as an accused, as someone who beat her and tortured her regularly," she had told BBC. She had said her family had to pay “a large sum of money" to buy peace. “The law has become a tool for extreme blackmail and extortion," she had been quoted.

Apart from wanting the law to be rewritten, Bhardwaj also campaigns for the establishment of a National Commission for Men. Her 2021 documentary, India’s Sons deals with false rape cases.

She has been one of the foremost voices on social media in the Atul Subhash case, and has been interviewed by numerous television channels. “Every media channel wants to take my interview… I haven’t slept properly for last one week as I am talking non stop about Atul Subhash case. What really breaks my heart is that I have been broadcasting these painful cases to folks in the media for more than a decade. Have literally chased some senior anchors to do a show on misuse of laws and even the new problematic laws like section 69 (criminalises sexual intercourse by deceitful means). But mostly my requests were turned down or ignored," she said on LinkedIn around two weeks ago.

She added: “It took a 90-minute suicide video to make them introspect & look in-depth into these issues. However, thankfully, there are some journalists who have always tried to cover these cases and I am immensely thankful to them. Media has a great role in shaping public perceptions. I am hoping that after this case they will be more empathetic towards the sufferings of men & tell these stories more often."

Many men are pointing out that while there is talk of bringing about gender equality, there were no consequences for those who filed false cases against men. “Atul Subhash, 38, lost his life to suicide. Faced false charges of murder, unnatural sex, and Section 498A and others; ₹3 crore settlement demand despite giving ₹40,000/month; Wife demanded ₹2 lakh/month for child support; herself employed at Accenture; Allegedly instigated by wife to take this step; Judge reportedly laughed at this; His wife filed 9 cases against him and then demanded Rs. 3 crore for settlement. In India, we talk about equality, but there is no National Commission for Men, no gender-neutral rape laws, and no strict laws against false rape cases," said a professional from Ernst & Young, sharing Subhash’s video on LinkedIn.

ALSO READ | Another Atul Subhash? Gurugram Man Alleges False Cases By Wife: ‘Rs 1 Crore Compensation, House’

THE SECTION 498A QUESTION

Section 498A of the IPC, now sections 85 and 86 in the BNS, deals with a husband or relative of the husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty. It was introduced in 1983 following a spate of dowry deaths in Delhi and other parts of India. While these cases are prevalent even now, there have been rising concerns in the last decade or so over divorce cases, where disgruntled wives are routinely using it as a “weapon" to harass husbands and their relatives.

The Supreme Court first took stock of this “phenomenon" in July 2014 and ordered the police to follow a nine-point checklist before making arrests in 498A cases. “The fact that Section 498A is a cognisable and non-bailable offence has lent it a dubious place of pride amongst the provisions that are used as weapons rather than shield by disgruntled wives," the two-judge bench of Justices CK Prasad and PC Ghose had observed in their order, as quoted by the BBC.

Cut to now, on December 10, 2024, another two-judge bench of the Supreme Court comprising Justice BV Nagarathna and Justice N Kotiswer Singh, observed: “Recent years have witnessed a notable rise in matrimonial disputes across the country, accompanied by growing discord and tension within the institution of marriage. Consequently, there has been a growing tendency to misuse provisions like Section 498A of the IPC as a tool for unleashing personal vendetta against the husband and his family by a wife."

Three days after the SC made its observations, on December 13, an advocate filed a public interest litigation (PIL) before the court alleging misuse of dowry and domestic violence laws. He argued that due to this there was widespread societal discord, mental health issues, and even suicides among accused men. Demanding reforms to “prevent misuse and protect innocent men", he referred to cases like the Atul Subhash death by suicide.

‘LAW BIT TILTED TOWARDS WOMEN’

After the death by suicide of 34-year-old Subhash, CNN-News18 spoke to a number of lawyers on the nationwide debate over the alleged misuse of the cruelty in marriage law. While some argued that there should be stricter safeguards framed to prevent “unfortunate incidents", others said the law in the country is “a bit tilted towards women".

“The Supreme Court should take suo motu cognisance of this case and frame stricter safeguards to prevent any more such unfortunate incidents from happening. There have to be stricter safeguards, and action should be taken against those who file false cases. The legal community too is responsible for the misuse of this law," senior advocate Vikas Pahwa told CNN-News18.

ALSO READ | ‘Laws Should Be Made For Men Too’: Atul Subhash’s Brother Amid Outrage Over Techie’s Suicide

Many lawyers also suggested that the offence should be made bailable to curb misuse. Some said men were the “primary sufferers" in failed marriages and the presumption that the woman’s allegations are authentic needs to be reconsidered so as to reduce false cases.

“Sadly, the law in this country is a bit tilted towards women. It is presumed that the husband must have done something wrong. This creates a disbalance in the administration of justice and leads to mental harassment and depression for the husbands," advocate Ashish Dixit told News18.

#BengaluruSuicideCase | Law has become a weapon for women to extract money from men, I see such cases every day. Most cases are exaggerated to ensure good amount of alimony is extracted: @adixit_adv, Advocate, speaks with @anany_b #AtulSubhash #bengalurutechie pic.twitter.com/bOEWXaDWyU— News18 (@CNNnews18) December 11, 2024

‘498A VERY MUCH REQUIRED’

But, not all in the legal fraternity are of the same view.

“Many of our clients, who are women, are in bad marriages – whether it is cruelty could be debatable, but in many such cases the husband refuses to give a divorce. Only way out is filing 498A, so many lawyers are also advising this, so that at a later stage, matters can be mediated and compromise can be reached," said Chandigarh-based advocate Arjun Sheoran, who specialises in criminal law and has practised in the Punjab and Haryana High Court.

Sheoran said he will not call it misuse of the law as such because in most cases, women have to “unfortunately use" it to get out of bad marriages and domestic violence. He said 498A, which is cognizable and non-bailable, has “almost become a bailable offence".

“In almost all cases, bail is granted by HC and other courts. While many conservative judges and parties oppose 498A, courts have become more liberal and started granting anticipatory bail in these cases. The trouble is the men’s rights movement does not talk about this," he said.

He added: “Judiciary has tempered down the full flow of 498A, now arrests don’t happen and most cases don’t go to trial and end in compromises."

Sheoran pointed out another problem – the low conviction rate when it comes to 498A cases, which according to experts, is often cited as proof of its misuse. But, the issue at hand is more complex. In most of these cases, providing clear evidence is difficult, particularly when it comes to mental cruelty. He said “to prove that someone else is cruel, is very difficult".

“There are many cases where women make very serious allegations in 498A cases, but are now living with the same partner having accepted their situation…so, it’s very easy to come out and say there’s misuse. In my entire career, I have not seen a single 498A conviction. That does not mean conviction does not happen, but there are very few due to cases ending in a compromise," he said.

ALSO READ | Bengaluru Techie Atul Subhash’s Social Media Has Posts On Men’s Rights, Gender Neutrality: ‘Oppose False Cases’

In a 2005 decision, the Supreme Court, while acknowledging the potential for misuse of the law, still maintained that it was essential for protecting women from physical and emotional abuse in their marital homes.

“Women protection laws are important because even now, women are being forced to settle into mutual divorce situations. Women need stringent laws to protect themselves, but that does not mean there is no misuse," said advocate and activist Aman, who practises in the Punjab and Haryana High Court.

She added: “Even now, there are hardly any complaints and 90% cases go unreported when it comes to cruelty or domestic violence."

Is making the law “gender-neutral", as is being demanded by men’s rights activists, a solution?

Aman said “gender-neutral" cannot be the solution. “Very oppressed sections feel discrimination on a daily basis. It’s still a male-dominated society, so we have to create one where men and women start working together instead of blaming each other," she said. “Those who need the law are not being able to access it properly. Language is a great barrier, the judicial system, under which cases are pending for years, is another problem. If there is speedy justice, then there is a chance of fewer fake cases or misuse of any law."

Sheoran agreed and said it is not possible to make the law gender-neutral. “…it will open up a Pandora’s Box. The men’s rights movement has demanded the decriminalisation of 498A for a long time, but make it gender neutral and this will be weaponised. Section 498A did not kill this man (Atul Subhash) but the understaffed and overburdened judiciary and the corrupt police system. The sting of the law has, in any case, gone… I have yet to come across a serious study that says this law needs to be scrapped."

COUNTING MALE SUICIDES

Data about the interrelation between suicide and gender reflects some nuanced details. One, that indeed more men commit suicide than woman. In 2022, 72% men died by suicide while, for women, the same figure is 27%.

The latest available government report (2022) on the subject says 1.7 lakh people died by suicide that year, of which nearly three-fourths, about 1.22 lakh, were men, and about 49,000 were women (for transgenders, the number was 28). This means the number of men who die by suicide is 2.5 times that of women.

The chief reasons are listed as ‘family problems’ (not related to marriage) at 31.7% of all suicides, and ‘illness’ at 18.4%. Third is ‘drug abuse or alcohol addiction’ at 6.8%.

Then come ‘marriage-related issues’, which account for 4.8% of all suicides, states the report. Here, the proportion of men and women is not wide: 4,237 were men, and 3,926 women.

Data shows that while overall more men die of suicide – reasons range from bankruptcy to illness to drug abuse, and others – in marriage-related problems, both genders appear to be affected almost equally.

Within the ambit of marriage-related problems, some reasons seem to affect one gender more than the other. In dowry-related issues, women are seven times more likely than men to die by suicide (1,561 women to 213 men).

However, ‘non-settlement of marriage’ affects men twice as much women (1,808 men: 992 women), when suicides are taken as the measure. And when divorce is the reason for suicide, more men (385) are affected than women (197).

According to a study, ‘Prevalence and risk factors of physical violence against husbands: Evidence from India’ led by International Institute for Population Sciences in Mumbai, the number of female victims of spousal violence in India is higher than male and the laws are framed to safeguard women. But, it underlines that spousal violence against men exists and can lead to “risky behaviour".

It said victims of spousal violence often display mental illness and suicidal thinking. It further highlights the need for “supporting men" by “revisiting the present domestic violence laws and programmes for inclusivity".

The study further said while spousal violence against women is more frequent and severe, Section 498A “does not provide much space for men experiencing violence in the domestic sphere".

It also said the prevalence of mental morbidity (high prevalence of external deaths or mental health issues) in men is over 6% higher than that in women. According to the National Mental Health Survey 2015-2016, the overall prevalence of mental morbidity in men is 13.9%, while that in females is 7.5%. Reasons include complex gender dynamics, especially stereotypes thinking of men being strong, life-related stress and social pressure, it added.