Kim Sae Ron’s Heartbreaking Letter To ASTRO’s Moonbin After His Death Surfaces: ‘I’m So Tempted To Follow After You…’

As reported by Koreaboo, she began the letter by saying that she missed “Bin" and went on to state that she “tried to choose death because things were so difficult, but then I heard the news about you." Sae Ron mentioned understanding what he must have gone through before finally choosing to end his life. “I know better than anyone just how scary and lonely that decision must’ve been, so I can’t bear to ask you why," she said.

In a heartbreaking way, Sae Ron also revealed that she “strangely" missed Moonbin the day he passed away and even thought of calling him, but in the end, she did not, which she deeply regretted later. “I probably couldn’t have stopped you, but you might’ve postponed it for a day. For me, when today passes, tomorrow comes. I live day to day, barely getting by. Were you like that, too? Every day, every moment, I’m so tempted to follow after you," she added.

Asking Moonbin to see her in dreams, Sae Ron continued, “Don’t be lonely — I think I had been going through too much myself to have stuck by your side and comforted you. If you get lonely, come see me in my dreams. Then, I’ll be by your side and listen to what you have to say, just like you did for me."

After recalling some fond memories with the late ASTRO member and a person named Chan Hee, she told him in the letter that his fellow band members were completely shattered upon his demise. “I’ve decided to postpone my death, just a little because I have to protect Sua and the other members," she explained before adding that “Jinwoo (Jinjin), Myungjun oppa (MJ), Dongmin (Cha Eunwoo) and Minhyuk (Rocky)" all broke down.

In tearful words, Sae Ron lamented her friend’s death, saying, “Why must it have been you? It’s enough for me to have been in pain from depression. It should’ve taken me instead." Further, she mentioned that she wanted to mourn his death but was afraid that her “existence would cause harm to your death."

Afterwards, Sae Ron talked about the hardships of celebrities, expressing her grief on how the media was targeting her with unverified attacks. “We should’ve come clean to each other and cry until our throats give in, scream that we are having it hard. Although to be honest, I still can’t do it, I should’ve gathered you and the kids to do that. We didn’t want to worry each other, so we pretended to be strong and fine to each other, right?" she added.

Sae Ron ended the letter by saying, “I respect all your choices, and I am cheering you on. I’m sorry for not being able to compliment you endlessly and for not being able to hug you. I love you. See you soon. Wait for me. Your friend and dongsaeng for 18 years, Kim Sae Ron."